Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
