Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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