Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
