Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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