I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
