sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
