He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
