So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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