are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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