Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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