I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
