You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
