Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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