At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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