And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize