More tranny stories later!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
