Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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