listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
