i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
