I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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