Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
