remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize