i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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