The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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