Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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