you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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