I want to walk on stilts...naked
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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