i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
