please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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