No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
