Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
