Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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