i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
