Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
