Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
