I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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