Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We need to rekindle our bromance
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize