We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
