So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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