do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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