He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
