It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
