you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize