You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
