Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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