lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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