I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
