Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Farmville is her only friend.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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