How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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