are you still at the devil's house?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
