woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
don't judge my taste in strippers
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
