There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
