Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
