He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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