What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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