He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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