Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm always down for nudity.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
