You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
