So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have aggressive nipples.
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