Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize